Ahhh...

That was a big sigh of relief.

I just got back from my parents summer house (they went to their friends birthday party and couldn't go themselves, so I was appointed the chief cat-sitter and plant-waterer) where I duly observed all the ceremonies one needs to observe when visiting summer houses. I heated up the sauna, sat on the porch listening to birds singing - out of the dozen voices all I recognized was the cuckoo - and drank beer, thought about gardening but decided against it, barbecued all my food and generally enjoyed my stress-free existence. I even went as far as to dip myself into the pond as the water's not actually freezing anymore. Cold, yes, but not freezing.

The word "bliss" can now be defined as the feeling when you sit outside, it's midnight but it's almost as light as daytime, you are holding a cold beer in your hand and there's a small cat wanting your undivided attention. If there's anything that could have made my experience more fulfilling, it would have been this, a Rammstein bath towel.

What will they think of next... But hey, if they don't have enough money seeing as the line of products keeps on growing, I see no reason why they should, for example, pay lots of money for hotel rooms as I would be more than happy to accommodate any of them. Any time. No charge. Hell, I could even promise to cook breakfast.

But anyway, I got back to town and noticed that the band KMFDM has not only confirmed that there will be a world tour (named FUBAR, hah) but that they'll also grace this little country with their presence. On 18th November they'll be in Turku (watch out, Turku-dwellers, I might be begging for a place to sleep then), and on 19th they'll be in Helsinki. I'm going to book tickets as soon as the ticket office starts selling them (which might be some time ahead), both to the Laibach gig (pics, more pics , you'll never guess what's behind this link) on 26th August and to the KMFDM gig, so let me know if you want to join in on the fun so I'll know how many tickets to reserve.

These sort of things are exactly the sort of things that wake up my paranoia of things eventually balancing out. Like there was this dude sitting on a cloud going "you're having fun now, but just you wait till next year... bwah hah hah." I would like to believe my schoolmate who was of the opinion that this is only payback from all the dull and/or bad times we've had in the past. Maybe she is right. I certainly hope she is right.

Anyways, for a few days at least I'm going to be a completely stressless creature. There's a birthday coming up in 2 weeks but I'm planning on having the age crisis sometime later. So far the plan is to go to the bar Super to see whether they still sell drinks by the bucketful, and then on Sunday go on a picnic - a plan that has almost never failed, I'm not counting the last 1st of May disaster, even if it traditionally rains on 12th June, every year. Then I'll get someone tall to start up the disco ball (I love the high rooms of old buildings, but even the simple task of changing the light bulb is a bit of a challenge if you're not either 6 feet tall or have the ability to fly) and we have some indoors fun.


Today, a link for you guys. I have probably linked to this site before, but what the hell, you can't have enough of the good stuff. Someone has put a webcam inside a bird box and now the little birdies have gone and made more little birdies. Highly addictive, and cute.

And this I must have told you about many times before. A webcam in a German forest, now showing the life of a wild boar family.

Holy Awesomeness...

Just got back from the movies. Saw the Episode III of the Star Wars series.

Just remembered, again, why I am a Star Wars geek.

Just realized that I want to see it again as soon as possible.

The last two unfortunate mistakes that were the episodes I and II are now paid back. You'd think enjoying a movie where you have known how it ends for 18 years would be difficult, but you'd be wrong. I don't know how much I can write about it because I might unintentionally spoil it for some of you, but if I say four lightsabers I'm not revealing too much and you'll know what I'm talking about when and if you go to see the movie.

It was dark, and tragic, and blissfully devoid of any comical sidekicks. I almost cried at some points. Me, for goodness' sake, a person who, as a rule, does not cry until something truly horrible happens. The music was awesome, the battle scenes amazing and even if the dialogue was not what you might call deep and there might have been a bit more explanations as to why, exactly, Anakin made the decisions he did, it's still worth watching.

And I want to state it once again, that if ever the unfortunate thing happens and I end up getting married, the wedding march will be the Imperial March (playing non-stop in my Media Player as we speak), and who cares what the groom has to say about it.

I'm off to surf a bit more the galaxy far, far away. Hopefully I touch the ground again in the near future. Or perhaps not.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate - and hard work to pancakes

Goshdarnit it's hot outside. Construction work outside or not, I have to keep my window open or I'll be doing a reasonable roast beef impersonation before noon.

I have been cleaning my little home today; a feat that can be compared to the most heroic of Supermans battles. I have a high tolerance of mess (something my mother can't understand, her tolerance of anything even resembling mess is less than zero. There must have been some kind of genetic mutation when I was being made), and when I get around to clean, it means a whole day's worth of hard work. Even if I live in a one-room apartment. Or especially because my home is so tiny, because it means that there's no room to move things, and even if I threw most of my earthly possessions away it would still be crowded. But for a few days at least I have a nice, clean home - although I still haven't cleaned the windows, there's no point in doing it until the most dust-creating parts of the yard work is done.

The real excitement of today was, however, courtesy of my too curious fighting fish. I had to trim down some of the plants that had grown too tall and were growing algae on the surface and as I was doing this there's the brainless creature, swimming amok between the plant, my fingers and the scissors I was holding, as if wanting to say "Ooooo, are these scissors? Cor. Looks sharp don't they? What you think will happen if I touch them? Are they edible? There went the plant! Would you look at that!" How do they survive in the wild, I don't know. They must be the easiest prey to catch, they have no sense of danger whatsoever.

I fear that I have to succumb to the evil. Someone's been making pancakes and the whole building smells of them. So, naturally, I had to pop down to the shop to get some milk and eggs and forget the watch what you eat-regime I've been trying to follow. Or not literally forget, because what I'll be soon looking at is a fairly delicious pancake. But from a purely scientific point of view eating pancakes is good for you; not only do they taste good, which improves one's mood, they also contain high amounts of energy which I clearly do need after cleaning the whole day and I still have to go through my taxation notes and some German grammar (you should have seen me today, mopping the floor and discussing with myself in German within the limits of my small vocabulary - half the lines were from different songs and were what you might call explicit. I fear the day I have to have an actual conversation in German...).

Yes. One of my superpowers is, I can whip up a theory to back up my actions in a split second. It might not make any sense, but it's a theory nevertheless.

All right, fun time is over, back to studying it is.


Re. the headline: I just promised myself I get to go to see the latest Star Wars movie on Wednesday. After being a fan since I was 11, and the disappointment of the last 2 films, I'm both scared and excited at the same time. I'll probably behave like I was in a particularly scary horror movie during the show and probably will not have any fingernails left once the movie is over.

I'm a geek and proud of it.

Exam Angst...

...Is here again.

Tomorrow I have exams in strategic management and sales skills and sales force management (the name of the course is longer than the course itself. I have no idea why it is on the curriculum, nor does the teacher) , on Thursday I have to tackle management accounting, next weeks problems are German, taxation and labour law.

And after that I'm almost done with my school.

I'm really, really looking forward to this summer. It's been ages since I did anything else but work, and now there are 2 festivals, a SCA tent camp (where I promised to cook the feast - must start planning now), and couple of other good parties. I don't care if it rains through the summer. I plan to have fun no matter what. Although I know saying it out loud might only jinx it. So I didn't say anything, OK?

I must have been really tired yesterday after work when I wrote the entry, because I forgot to mention the best part of the day. One of our customers looked exactly like Rammsteins keyboardist, Herr Doktor Christian "Flake" Lorenz. He must have thought I was blatantly flirting with him, I just couldn't stop smiling when I saw him - once I got over the arrythmia.



A spitting image, he was! Dress him in a military helmet, fishnet stockings, lederhosen and give him a keyboard or an accordion to play with, and you couldn't tell the difference.

Can't wait to see Till, Richard or Schneider walking in... ;)

Anyhoo, time to go back to studying. Or maybe I'll take a teeny walk outside and then go back to studying.



Today has been a day for odd songs.

The 5.6.7.8's Woo Hoo has been played quite a lot, along with a children's song Hansel und Gretel by Paul Landers, Flake and Till Lindemann of Rammstein (it was a backstage party. Alcohol was more than likely involved. You know how these things go).
The daily dose of Megaherz has been Göttlich, Kopfschuss, Wer bist du?, Rappunzel and Ja genau.

Oh, and a bit of shameless self-promotion in the end; a few weeks ago I won a perfect tense-game in German class, and today, to my surprise, our teacher (who has a sense of humour rarely met in the species of teachers) had a small prize for me. I am now a happy owner of a small booklet Einführung in die Fachsprache des Hotel- und Gaststättensgewerbes (a small Finnish-German-Finnish dictionary for those who work in hospitality and restaurant business). Printed sometimes in the golden sixties. Sweet, really.

People Are Strange

What a weird day at work.

First of all, I finally, after only one month of asking, got answers to my questions about the summer job. Not that I wouldn't have had one, but whether I get to play the manager's little helper or not. I can, so yay to that. It may also be that I get to play the holiday substitute to one of our mangers, which IMO is a bit scary but then again, I've worked for the company for over four years so there's little I do not know about it. I had the chat with our area manager this morning and when I raised the issue of getting chairs for the poor sods working the cash registers, he said we might get them in the autumn. Whoah. Knowing the way things are usually run, that's fast. Though thinking about it, he didn't specify in which year...

Then we got our share of weird customers.

There was a woman who spent better part of an hour screaming (presumably) to her ex on the phone. Apparently he owned her some money. I didn't catch all the words as she was sitting way across the room, but I definitely got the gist of it. It is exceptionally hard to concentrate on work when one wants to burst out laughing but of course as one is employed in the challenging field of customer service one can not.

Then there's the wannabe-androgyne we have the pleasure of feeding every day. He seems to want so hard to look like David Bowie but unfortunately fails miserably. I'd feel sorry for him if he didn't have this ultra-irritating habit of seating himself where he can stare us at work. And he has got to be the slowest mover ever. It's like he's sleepwalking. It takes him minutes to first fish his wallet out of his bag, then find his student card, and then put them all back again, pick up his tray and move away. My colleagues affectionately call him the stalker-boy.

And just as I was getting a bit worried that something had happened to Thesis-man (I've told you about Thesis-man, haven't I? The one who was our regular customer throughout the last summer and autumn, and who was so immersed in his work that it was a bit scary. He used to scream at us "I'm working on my thesis!! I do NOT have time to worry about what to eat!!" and then spend 15 minutes in front of the menu fretting about what would be best for him because, as he loved to remind us every five minutes, he was working on his thesis. I actually ran into him in a grocery store and was amazed to find out that you can find three different ways of mentioning your thesis during the small conversation you have with the cashier while handing over the money) he came to visit. It seems that there are people who need something to worry about, otherwise they would stop existing or something. This time he was in an utmost hurry to get to the library where he had a computer reserved so he had to try to skip in line. Oh dear. I bet he has very few friends in this world. Poor Thesis-man.

I guess he would have benefited if he had been with me and my family and all the extensions thereof yesterday at the theater. The play we went to see was absolutely hilarious, and once again proved my theory that we do need the occasional dose of slapstick comedy, with extra whoopee-cushion action. Every adult should see at least one children's play per year, that'd make the world a better place to live in in my very humble opinion. Especially if those plays are based on Astrid Lindgrens books. Her works should be obligatory reading in schools.

Today's recommended website/band: Sigur Ròs from Iceland. For some reason I keep thinking of Kent when I listen to them, but it's not the same. Kind of a cross between Kent and Björk, but more hypnotic - I'm wasting my time here, I can't describe them. They have few of their songs free for download on their site. Give them a listen and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Hello, Mr. Medicine Man!

I love the science of modern medicine. Namely all those people who have in some way contributed to the invention of muscle relaxants. I'm on slow motion at the moment, anything that demands the use of any higher brain functions takes about three times longer than usual. I should have left all the typos I made in these few sentences in place as evidence of my current state of bliss.

I had the dubious pleasure of working at the cash register yesterday which means I stood still for seven hours straight. At five o'clock both of my legs cramped and during the 2 hours I had left I must have been a sight, leaning against the counter and wearing something I thought was a smile on my face. We've been asking for chairs for four years. Must be the university's unique conception of time influencing our managers as well. I'm meeting our area supervisor on Monday and I'm planning on chaining myself to his desk until he promises to get the chairs. If that doesn't help I'll start singing.

Thank goodness I spend most of my working hours in the kitchen, is all I'm saying.

Like today. I finished all my actual work at 11 when the restaurant opened - I made the desserts, salads and all the stuff in our tiny wannabe-cafeteria - and that left me 5 hours of quiet baking, cleaning, air guitar playing and coffee drinking. That's what I call work.

And when I got home I took a bath and a wonderful, wonderful little pill which made the pain go away. Bliss.

I tried working on an essay for my course in strategic management (last one for this semester, yay!) but didn't get anything done which is probably all the same as I would have more than likely written it all over again tomorrow. I need to analyze the choices available for a growth-oriented business using Porter's theories of Five Forces and Generic Strategies . Sounds boring but I've found it to be surprisingly interesting.

I've also started planning on rewarding myself for being a good girl and not throwing too bad temper tantrums for not being able to go to Berlin in June to any of the Rammstein gigs in the legendary Wuhlheide stadium (that's where they shot the Live aus Berlin DVD years ago), with a trip to Germany next October. After careful research of the Megaherz tour schedule I've come to the conclusion that the exotic town of Rüdesheim shall have the honor of enjoying the pleasure of my company. Getting there requires a flight to Frankfurt and an hour-long train trip but compared to the other towns on the list it's easiest to travel to by far. They'd play in Lübeck, too, but the concert is scheduled on the same weekend as the Feast of St Homobonus, so I have to look for other options. If I understood correctly the club where the Rüdesheim concert will take place is a hotel's club and conveniently located in the same building as the hotel, which, if I understood the site correctly, is not overly pricey. I'm taking this as a good omen.

But it all depends on how much money it will take and how much money I will get in summer. It's so much easier being spontaneous and frivolous if you don't have to work for three months beforehand...

I'm a bit of a late bloomer, aren't I? I mean I should probably have all this going to overseas just to see a band - routine out of my system as a teenager, not start it at now, at almost thirty? Then again, I have voiced my opinions about aging according to a pre-set schedule before in this very same blog, so you all know how, exactly, I feel about the issue. Yet I find myself bringing it up. Weird.

Anyways, time to go to sleep. Tomorrow is time to honor the ancient family tradition and use the only relative under the age of ten as an excuse to go see some quality children's theatre. There'll be about ten of us adults taking a five-year-old second cousin of mine to the show. If none of us younger members of our family start to reproduce soon, we don't know what we'll do.


After couple of days of listening to Baccara's Yes Sir, I Can Boogie, Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive and Donna Summer's Hot Stuff I have returned to normal and right now there's Megaherz's Komm rüber (Schattenland) playing in my loyal servant señor Media Player. If there ever was a man who could make a credible and spooky evil whisper, it's Mathias Elsholz.

Food for Thought

I have been thinking.

I can hear the the gasps of amazement and horror caused by this breaking news have toned down, so I'll continue.

All this cerebral activity started after reading a couple of threads at the herzeleid.com and megaherz.com forums; the other was about popular music and how those listening to it are somehow doomed to be lower creatures than us better people, the thread at the megaherz forum was simply named What does music mean to you?

Believe or not, those two topics got me into some deep pondering about the human nature and the dynamics of the modern society. We all know the basics, right? That despite the fact that humans are social animals, I'd love to use the term pack animals but it's not exactly the same, is it, even if we do share some of the characteristics of a hierarchical pack. What do I know, I'm not either a psychologist nor a social scientist. I'll just ramble for my own amusement.

Anyways, the big conflict of our lives comes from the fact that we have to be as individual as possible all the while maintaining a socially accepted role in the society, which ultimately does require sacrificing some of the most extreme individual traits in our personalities. According to Terry Pratchett, my ultimate favourite author, chaos will conquer over order because it's better organized, but I personally would not want to try that theory out. We have all seen the results that can come out of large scale, nationwide social experiments, haven't we?

So there I am, quietly sniggering at the opinions voiced by some of the herzeleid.com forum users, that pop music fans would somehow be beneath us real fans, representing the famous "more-than-10-people-listen-to-this-band-therefore-it's-commercial-shit" school of thought - yet these same people all listen to Rammstein, Marilyn Manson and Slayer, all of which are known for their underground status and a small, loyal fan base. I used to be like that, I admit it, but then I fortunately grew out of it. I like music X, someone else likes music Y, and while I do think that Celine Dion screams something awful she appeals to some people and if that's what they like to listen to, fine. The biggest problem I have with the pop scene is the attitude that since someone at, for example, Radio NRJ, says that this here is the biggest hit song ever we are all supposed to like whatever they play without any criticism. If some day they'll play some white power thrash metal we all just headbang happily away without one thought in our heads. Scary.

But back to topic, if there ever was one. So there we are, poor bastards, trying to fit in to the society and at the same time trying to stand out from the throng. The sad thing is, that most of the usual methods of declaring our individualism are already used; there's the punk uniform, the hippie uniform, the "alternative" uniform (you know, dreadlocks, piercings, skirt and trousers worn at the same time - if you can't decide what to wear, don't go outside at all, say I) and so on.

I totally understand that people have the need to belong to some group (of individuals, hah) but there's always the one taking things to ridiculous extents. That's when the "How can you listen to that utter shite" comments start. Music is, in my opinion, one of the easiest ways of defining our personalities, and of course, also one of the easiest ways of telling ourselves apart from the masses and the worst possible monster ever to haunt our nightmares: the Mainstream. Of which we are all part of, whether we want to or not. Listening to one type of music does not, unfortunately, make any of us a part of any other elite group than the one we have created in our imaginations.

*Sigh*

What I try to say, I think, is that poor us, constantly having to try and find our place in this ever-changing world. I use music to define who and what I am, that's one of the most obvious tools for me. Interesting that previously it was books, now music, I wonder what'll it be in ten years?

But I promised a Rammstein piccie, didn't I? No good going round not keeping promises... Not pyrotechics, I'm afraid, and one of the boys is missing, but one helluva photo nevertheless.



Top of the Pops:
Augen auf! by Oomph!
Alle gegen alle by Laibach
Jos sanon by Kotiteollisuus

....bored....

First of all, thank you everyone for support. I felt a tad silly afterwards for posting about my little angsty moment, but hey, what are blogs for?

I am currently at school, trying to spend four hours between classes without actually dying of boredom. If the morning class had been an ordinary lesson I would not have come, but as we finally got the diplomas from the presidents party on independence day where our class went as free workforce, I had to drag myself out of bed and into school. Two more hours to go till German lessons...

Anyways, 60 more days to Ruisrock. I would post an inspiring photograph of Advanced Pyrotechnics 101 but as someone has messed up the keyboard I am using and the letter keys are the only ones that work, I will have to postpone that. All the other keys produce symbols that are not what is printed on them. It might be that I am to blame for this mess-uppance, as there is a question mark above, but I swear I have not touched anything I am not supposed to touch. Honestly.

If anyone asks, this computer is possessed and probably requires a few sacrificial chickens and some ancient and secret rituals performed by virgins to get it working again.

I t always amazes me how people can actually get anything done in a school computer lab. There is always a couple of people working together, which requires talking, and a couple of other people just killing time by watching something that produces loud noises in the internet, and at least three more people gossiping happily away on their cellphones. With all that mayhem around, how can anyone not loose their concentration? Ha! If I press shift and the key that is supposed to produce a hyphen, if that is the word I am looking for, I get a question mark. Still have not found the right combination for an apostrophe, though. Thank goodness the comma key works.



Random quote for today by Laibach.
Politics is the highest form of popular culture, and we who create the contemporary European pop culture consider ourselves politicians.

Life's Unfair

Before I go any further I want all of you to promise that you'll drink moderate amounts of wine, learn languages and solve crosswords. You see, those are good methods of protecting yourselves against Alzheimer's disease. But let's start at the beginning.

I talked to my mother on the phone the other day and I've never heard her being so tired. My grandmother has the Alzheimer's, and about a week ago she fell and broke her arm. My grandpa took her to a hospital where she was operated and the plan was to transfer her to a nursing home until she was well enough to return to home; she is practically totally helpless without the use of her other arm. Of course, someone blundered and the hospital wrapped her in a neat brown package and shipped her home. It's hard enough for my grandpa to take care of her as it is, she does not always recognize her home and can go into outright panic in an "unfamiliar" environment, or she accuses grandpa of selling their home and moving them to another part of the town without asking her and can go into a violent fit of rage about it, at the mildest she just tells the same story over and over and over again.

So on top of that she has no idea why her arm is "heavy and painful," as she does not remember falling, and talks about getting an axe and chopping the damn thing off and how she'd be better off dead. After almost 60 years of marriage it must not be easy to watch your spouse turn into an entirely unfamiliar person. I can only speak from the point of view of a grandchild, and as it is not easy for me, I can only imagine what my grandpa is going through.

My grandpa is the traditional Finnish man who endures everything and does not complain no matter what, so my mother has had to organize everything by phone from 500 km away. She managed to get the hospital to send a nurse to check that everything was all right and to bathe grandma, and using either Jedi mind tricks or common blackmail got grandma a place in a nursing home for two weeks.

*sigh*

I feel so goddamn helpless but what can I do except to show support to my mother?

Enough with the brooding. There are good things in life as well. It just seems a bit unfair that when you are supposed to prepare for a grand exit from this world, something like this happens. So please, study languages, drink wine and remember that crosswords are your friends.

Thank you for listening (all right, reading), I feel better now that that's off my chest.

I think a walk outside might chase the remaining broodings away. I bought the mp3-player I talked about earlier, and yesterday I had to take an hour-long walk 2 times just so I could play with my new toy.

Today's link: movie reviews by a religious extremist. Check out what he has to say about South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. I can't believe that someone is willing to spend time watching every movie possible and counting how many cuss words, nude scenes and acts of violence there are. And categorize them. When I find out what, exactly, sumo nudity is, I promise to tell you.

Today's top tracks:
Finally got my paws on 5/4, Kokain and Das Modell by Rammstein.
Augenblick by Megaherz.
Käärmeen pää, Selkä taittuu and Kuningas mammona by Kotiteollisuus so that I'd get psyched up to finally finish couple of reports I've been putting off for too long.

Alcohol politics and grand meleés

Just got back from the movies. I went to see the Kingdom of Heaven with a friend of mine who conveniently got hold of an invitation for a guest show, the official opening night being tomorrow.

If you leave out the fact that for a 12th century blacksmith Orlando Bloom's character knows surprisingly lot about defence warfare, and focus on enjoying the fabulous camera work, it's really worth watching. There's something about grand armies on the move, horses, siege engines and grand meleés that make me feel all warm inside. You can analyze that to your heart's content if you want to; I'll be interested to see the results. Yes, yes, there was the obligatory love story as well, but who cares when there are crusaders and saracens beating the seven kinds of snot out of each other - *sigh*

Just go see the movie. I know you'll like it.

Almost cured me of going "awww" all day long at infrequent intervals after two of my good friends revealed that they'd started dating. I'm working on retaining my cool and re-collecting all the lost street cred points.

So, the big news for today, (besides the fact that Laibach will play at the Tavastia club on the August 26th), is that I've finally conquered my hangover. Yay! I was a bit worried because it lasted this long, but I guess I'm just turning into my mother; she can't drink much alcohol without throwing up all night. Which I'm glad I didn't have to do, it was close but I managed to pull through without having to have long conversations with the toilet. It's time to hold negotiations with myself concerning the amount of alcohol I can consume safely and without the fear of an all-round embarrassment. Growing up are the words I'm looking for here.

And as sort of a premature reward of this I've decided to buy myself one of those nifty, handy dandy really small mp3-players as a substitute for the late portable CD player I managed to destroy. That is, if I can actually give up the money at the cash register, I fear I'll chicken out at the last second and just buy another ordinary CD player. Whatever the result, I can't go on without some kind of music-playing equipment.

Hi, everyone, my name is Sanna and I am an addict.

In today's Support the Scene By Spreading the Word - section I give you Sascha Konietzco of the band KMFDM. I remember reading somewhere that when Rammstein was but a wee band they were the support band in one of the KMFDM tours. Makes you a bit mushy, thinking about that, doesn't it? KMFDM are releasing a DVD from their 20th anniversary tour which I just have to get.



I need to get some pictures worth publishing of myself here, too, otherwise there'll be no one reading this blog but me. Or maybe this is actually better, if I start posting my pics, there really won't be any readers. It's just that after I turned five or six, I've managed to avoid all cameras with considerable success. Taking a picture of me when I'm passed out on the floor does not count, I was defenseless - you know who you are, guilty one, and that picture will come hauntig you some day, you mark my word.


EDIT: How could I forget the reason I made you go through all the ramblings above? Finally found from the depths of the internet, one of the best comics evah, Red Meat. warning: Highly addictive.

Happy 1st of May!

You'd think that since you are an adult, you'd know your limits when it comes to drinking alcohol. *insert hollow laughter*

I had to leave today's picnic early because I drank way too much last night at a party ('twas a good party otherwise) and right now I feel miserable. I took a bath and slept for an hour, but still my hands shake and I'm constantly reminding my stomach of proper conduct of behaviour. Will I never learn, or is this another symptom of aging? And it was fun at the picnic, I wouldn't have wanted to go. There was even, despite the freezing cold weather, so much romance in the air that even my old heart went "awwww."


I can't remember when would have been the last time I took a ride in any public transport without my portable CD player. On my way to work on Saturday morning, however, I managed to drop it on the asphalt where it promptly fell into thousand pieces and refused to work again. Good thing that the CD itself survived the crash unscathed. Until the next payday, then, I have to rely on other people to keep me entertained during the bus ride. I'm not a morning person, however, and usually the conversations (especially if they talk via cellphone, because you only hear half of the conversation. Also, it never ceases to amaze me how some people talk very intimate details about their lives in a public place) I hear will only increase my grumpyness instead of soothing my nerves.

OK, back to trying to eat. My brain knows I need food, but my stomach doesn't want to even think about it.



Yesterday's tracks: The Love Boat theme, We Are Family, Play That Funky Music White Boy and so on, you get the idea.